Breaking My Fucking Hand

So I had big plans for 2017, and wiping out on my bike and breaking two bones in my hands right before Summer wasn't one of them.

This was really the first broken bone I've had, sans an ankle when I was like 10 or some shit, but that doesn't really count. I've found out breaking a bone when you're a working adult with interests and desires is a lot more of a bitch than when you'd gladly like an excuse to just play fucking Mario Party all day as a ten year-old.

A little more insight to the accident...I ride my bike just about every weather cooperating day I can to work at my job downtown, about 1.5 miles away from our house on the Near Eastside of Indianapolis. Occasionally I'll ride home for lunch if I didn't bring anything with, and that day was one of those days

I was literally about 3 blocks away when I hit a patch of loose gravel on a route I've taken hundreds of times before. It's kind of a blur because it happened so fast, but after trying to overcorrect a little bit I wound up smashing the fuck out of my left hand somehow. I immediately knew something fucked up had happened, but having not broken a bone in about 15 years I thought there was no way it would actually happen to me.

Even though it was some of the worst pain in my life I still didn't think I could possibly just wreck on my lunch break and fuck up my hand, but my naïvety proved me wrong and after hitting the Methodist ER the next day, I had 2 spiral fractures on my third and fourth metacarpal and would need surgery.

FUCK!

Having a broken hand made me realize how hard it is to do things with just one. Putting my pants on, buttoning my shirt, and putting deodorant on all became this big fucking ordeal every morning. I won't lie, it got to me a litle bit. Without the ability to pop out of bed and take on the day the way I see fit, I was bogged down with a disability, albeit a temporary one. The two weeks until I got surgery I was just a little lethargic. I tried not to be, but breaking something like your hand in the forefront of Summer sucks. No bikes, no hiking or camping, nothing fun. I couldn't even play fucking video games or type.

Patiently waiting to get the call to get my surgery scheduled, I got the call about a week after the accident, and it would be about two weeks total from break to operation. I won't lie, I was a little nervous about the surgery. Getting put under freaks me out...I just feel like you're somewhat dead when under anesthesia. Despite my somewhat irrational fear, the nurses and doctors at Methodist were awesome, super nice people who made me feel relaxed and good about getting the surgery done and over with.

I got a left clavicular nerve block, and my entire left arm started to go numb, and it would be like this for almost two days after the operation — one of the worst fucking parts of the experience.

90 minutes was the scheduled surgery time, and I woke up about 120 minutes after being put under, being wheeled into another room by a nurse, still groggy as hell from the anesthesia. Ready to get the fuck out and eat some god damn food, my mom took me to smash on some Chipotle and head home to start the recovery and inevitably sleep some more. Arriving home I grabbed my laptop and a bowl and headed to my bed, which was about to be my home the next couple of days.

My recovery plan consisted of a strict regiment consisting of Netflix, Crunchyroll, and a FUCKTON of weed. Yea, my hand hurt like a bitch once my nerve block wore off but at least I had the weed to help me get high as shit to dull some of it (fuck an opiate script!).

Fast-forward to now, about 2 weeks post surgery. My hand feels a hell of a lot better, I can actually type at my normal speed again, which means more writing and not taking fucking forever to do my work (web developer). Rolling joints and blunts again, too! The initial incision wound was pretty gnarly...a unique looking cut my doctor did, presumably just so he could flap the skin back and get up in them guts for a bit.

I will forever cherish having two working hands and won't take it for granted. This experience has taught me a lot...for one, be careful on your bike, but more importantly to value your health and well-being. No disrespect to those with actual physical disabilities, but I couldn't believe how much harder life became when you can only use one hand — t's fucked up to feel like you're just moving at a slower pace than everyone else.

Be careful on your bikes!!!